There's a beautiful song by Hillsong that goes, "How many times have I broken your heart / But still you forgave if only I ask / and how many times have you heard me pray / Draw near to me." But that first line is what gets me the most: How many times have I broken your heart. I crumble internally when I hear this and realize the countless times I've broken my Father's heart in the past.

I don't know...I don't know why my God is the RIGHT God. I know that the Bible is infallible. That there's evidence out there that proves the things that occurred in the Bible. And I am convicted in my heart that it's totally, utterly true. In any sense, I haven't studied that part of its logic yet, but I am certain of this right now: It's not my mind wanting to feel His presence, I just know He's there. It's like the wind, you don't know what direction is comes from or where it'll go next, but you know that it's there. In any case, I know for certain that you don't get that in other religions. Other religions are rules and regulations and RELIGION. It's not a relationship where you feel bad for breaking your Father's heart.  I just know that with Jesus, not even poetry can compare to His greatness. He makes my whole being, my heart, my Spirit, my entire being feel AWESOME. I am utterly overjoyed every time I spend time with Him. You can put me in the worst condition like having ruckmarched over 10 miles in a wet uniform & boots carrying 50+ pounds on my back in addition to having been bitten by 100+ mosquitoes, but you'll still see that smile on my face the whole time (not just the end). Because He gives me life.

So where did this random thought come from? Man, that doesn't matter. If I can take back time and make every weblog entry I've ever written in correlation to Jesus and His greatness, I would. Hands Down. Because that's love. What do I mean? Because having Jesus is like having everything and anything you've ever wanted (happiness, love, peace, joy, harmony, & more) in this life. And I want that FOR YOU. Jesus is the BEST thing in the world. Fact. :) Come to a GC service with me sometime and hundreds around me will prove that to you, too.

So what did you do this summer, Madel?

Hung off a single rope at 38 feet high off the water where I had to yell--before letting go of the rope--my name, my school, and what branch I wanted in the Army,

slid off a zipline at 60 feet high above water while hanging on for dear life off a cross metal bar,

had over half of my body bitten off by mosquitoes,

ate MREs (meals ready to eat) 3x a day for 10 days straight in the forest,

slept in the woods of Fort Lewis, Washington (where I was trained as an Infantryman) with nothing but a bivy cover w/the thickness of the single white sheet they use in most hospital rooms,

ruckmarched an average of 7km a day w/over 40+ on my back to include an M16A2 rifle and kevlar helment,

rappelled off a tower at 60 feet high,

completed an Air Assault Patrol Operations mission in a Black Hawk helicopter,

and much MUCH more.

But my biggest achievement was graduating RECONDO.  (Let's just say most cadets will make it through Warrior Forge, but FEW will earn the coveted RECONDO Badge. Only 7 in my platoon got it.) But above that, being the "light" of God in my platoon (which consisted of 48 cadets) in a stressful situation such as Warrior Forge hands down beats earning a badge that you'll only wear for a year in college. Planting seeds in peoples lives was definitely awesome. Definitely. Warrior Forge was not easy, but it wasn't all that hard too. Simply because 1) I was in fantastic physical shape for its demands---in which God gave me grace for, and 2) I had God. Everything in life is that much more positive and FUN, regardless of how crappy your situation is, when "He's with you wherever you go," Joshua 1:9.

My Warrior Forge APFT score: 332 (Ask God for His glory and He will give it to you.)

From Army ROTC Cadet Command site:

"

In approximately 24 hours I'll be heading off to Warrior Forge of LDAC (Leadership Development Advance Course) at Fort Lewis, WA. It is by far the most stressful and demanding (both physically and mentally) experience in an Army officer's career . All 4,500 cadets--that are incoming seniors this fall-- nationwide in over 200+ universities will be training at Fort Lewis to perform Warrior Forge. Basic recap: I've been training for this five-week training since Fall Quarter '05 and gained almost 8 lbs of muscle due to it. And I carry no doubts that God is going to use me as a vessel to do enormously well to extend His kingdom. I can't wait to extend the love and the greatness God has given in me to my peers.

Other great news: I finally 4.0ed ALL my classes this quarter making it the fifth quarter in the row I made the Dean's. These last two quarters I came really stinkin' close, but God is soooo good and faithful. He said is in His word, Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." My awesome Father in Heaven is definitely the King of Kings.

HECK YA!!! I got a 323 on my APFT this morning (w/just 5 hours of sleep and runing with shin splints and a cramp the entire time). God is soo faithful.

GC Encounter Retreat rocked. I learned so many cool things about God and living a more fulfilling Christian life these past two days. Not to mention all the amazing people I met and got to worship with who are all in pursuit of one thing in life: God. He is the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. EVER. My only wish in life is for all my friends and anyone I've ever encountered with is to know Him. B/c He's just so stinkin' awesome! Like He promised in Hebrews, "He is a rewarder to those who diligently pursues Him." And I have been blessed out of mind since I have been pursuing Him. No joke.

On a side note, I have to admit, I totally love having a full weekend not dedicated to doing Army stuff. (Another one of His blessings.) After the retreat, I took a nap for a couple of hours, then followed through with 40 laps at the pool in the IMA. And then I went in the sauna to relax for 15 minutes. Dude, let's just say it was stinkin' awesome not having to feel rushed all the time because of one's obligations with this thing called "life". God is so cool.